A text-to-speech translation of a lonely crying dog

There have been reports that the sane amongst you have been left nauseated after consuming my posts. Whilst I do my best to ensure posts remain free from nauseating content, you may experience negative side effects due to the subjective nature of blog consumption.

However, in solidarity with my readership, I will offer full refunds to everyone who has not been 100% satisfied with their reading experience. Please email your refund request to hereisdistant@gmail.com.

The refund will be processed within 5-10 working days, and will use the payment details provided when passing the (admittedly hefty) paywall present on my blog.